


fit the crown to my head

by shuhuaflvr (vminprnt)



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Minor Violence, Shuhua is gay, but also modern??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 20:55:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19776253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vminprnt/pseuds/shuhuaflvr
Summary: They  entwine their pinkies in a promise Shuhua intends to keep.We'll meet again, some day.





	fit the crown to my head

i.

Shuhua is almost eight when she meets Soojin.

Soojin is older, dignified, and most importantly, the daughter of her father’s rival, Minwoo. Despite this, she ran off with Soojin the day she met her to play in the fields while the adults discussed the politics of their budding nation. They weaved flower crowns and placed them on each other’s heads, lying in the grass until the sun gave way in the sky, bleeding into the earth, a painting of reds and purples mixing together. Shuhua remembers that day in vivid detail. 

They leave each other with a promise to play again, and when Shuhua’s father asked what she did all day, she shrugged, and the matter was dropped.

From that day forward, Shuhua and Soojin were inseparable. Even though their ages and personalities differed, they fit together perfectly; like two puzzle pieces sliding together. They were both born into the cruel and scornful world of the royal court-- a place of scathing words and even harsher judgements. To Shuhua, it seemed as though no one else would understand her like Soojin. 

Years passed, and Soojin and Shuhua grew even closer, finding excuses to meet and reasons to find each other. They knew they were running out of time, but it was easier to ignore when they were sitting together under the moonlight together, alone in their own world.

It was only a matter of time before that world shattered. 

Once their parents learned of their friendship, they tried to separate them at any costs--the second in line for the throne and the product of an affair, mixing together? _Unthinkable,_ Shuhua’s father said when he sat her down on his knees with a stern frown the night her parents discovered their relationship. 

_“Shuhua, as a member of the royal family, you can’t associate with someone like her. Especially considering she will inherit the family name, and become your rival someday.”_

Shuhua has never been a rule follower.

Soojin meets her later that night, a secretive smile splitting her lips, and they entwine their pinkies in a promise Shuhua intends to keep. _We’ll see each other again, some day._

ii. 

Shuhua is older, now. She hears Soojin’s name in passing, but doesn’t allow herself to dwell on the past. She takes comfort in their promise, holds it close to her chest, whispers the words to herself like a prayer before she closes her eyes and falls asleep. 

Her tenth birthday passed slowly, a day of gifts from people who wished for her father’s approval. A day of empty words and even emptier faces. In the years Soojin has been absent, Shuhua has found a new companion within the palace-- a girl even older than Soojin, yet willing to play and laugh with Shuhua. Miyeon, the daughter of one of the politicians her father approves of, fills the void Soojin had left. Just not enough.

That’s not to say that Shuhua doesn’t appreciate Miyeon. She just has her standards raised to high. 

Two months after her tenth birthday, she heard the news.

In the opposing faction, there had been a dispute between the leader and his daughter. She had expressed her wishes to become a knight, to serve the crown instead of her father. Soojin had left, arrived at the palace, and had been taken in by the guards to watch and determine her intentions. Shuhua’s handmaid had left her with the news, alone in her chambers.

Soojin was there, in the castle. 

She found herself running to the holding cells as fast as she could. Shuhua made her way through the throngs of guards, grasping the bars of the cell. “Soojin,” she gasped, and the girl raised her face. She was different-- more mature, her face longer, body awkwardly elongated, but still Shuhua’s Soojin. 

Soojin leapt to her feet, face twisted into an unrecognizable expression. The bars of the cell cast shadows onto her face. Shuhua whipped her head back to the guards. “Let her out,” she bellowed.

The guards grumbled behind her, unsure what to do. “Now,” she commanded, and with a clank of the keys, Soojin was free. She wasn’t sure what to do. Should Shuhua hug her? Touch her, reassure her somehow? But Soojin just stood there, obviously not ready to initiate any contact. So Shuhua kept her distance, wringing her fingers together nervously. 

“Why are you here?” 

Soojin shook her head nervously before standing up straight to face the room. “I want to become a knight.”

Mumbles traveled across the room, words of dissent thrown around freely. A hand clapped down on her shoulder, and she jumped. Shuhua glanced up, and her father stares back intently. “Leave, Shuhua.”

“But-” she attempted to protest, but her father cut her down with a glare. She left slowly, sparing one final glance at Soojin, who stared wistfully back at her. She tried to apologize with her eyes. She hoped the older girl would understand. 

Later that day, she hears the news of the young girl training to become a knight, and wonders what Soojin promised her father.

iii. 

Shuhua is fifteen when she next sees Soojin. She’s gangly, long limbed, and awkward, only just beginning to grow into her beautiful features; Soojin is on the cusp of becoming a woman. They meet in the strangest of ways- Miyeon is out of town, accompanying her mother in political matters, and Shuhua is bored out of her mind. 

She occasionally goes back to the field she and Soojin first played in. It’s like fate intervenes when they meet there again. 

Shuhua strides through the long grass, her dress brushing against the blades, a hand over her eyes to block out the bright sun. It’s hot, the heat beating down on her, and she can feel a trickle of sweat running down her back. When she sees the figure in the distance, she draws closer curiously. 

Soojin turns back towards her from where she’s lying on the ground, and Shuhua can feel the flush rising to her cheeks. She stands there awkwardly, twisting her hands behind her back. Soojin gets to her feet, observing her with a quirked eyebrow. In her years of training, she’s grown far more muscular, broad and proud, standing lightly on her feet. Shuhua pointedly ignores that, and focuses on her face. Which is somehow worse, when she notices the slope of her nose and her full cheeks and how _symmetrical_ it is. 

She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. Soojin bites her lip to keep from smiling. 

Shuhua stands perfectly still as Soojin approaches, knees shaking slightly. Soojin brushes her shoulder against hers as she walks away, whispering quiet words into her ear. 

_“Wait for me, Shuhua.”_

Waiting is all she’s ever done, it seems.

iv. 

The eve of her eighteenth birthday, her father summons her to court. An invite to a court session is no small affair, so she finds herself pacing around within her chambers, anxiously biting her lip. Miyeon tries to comfort her, guiding her back to the silken sheets of her canopied mattress, laying Shuhua’s head across her lap and stroking her hair gently. She closes her eyes and trusts Miyeon to take care of her, allowing the older girl to dab a tint onto the swell of her lips and pat color into her cheeks. 

She sighs when Miyeon forces her eyelids open, and she’s greeted with her smile. Miyeon lightly slaps her face. 

“It’s your birthday. Don’t be so sour.”

“I’ll be as sour as I want,” she grumbles, standing up unsteadily. Miyeon holds a hand out for her to balance on as her vision clears, her sight clearing of the black spots strewn across it from having her head down for so long. “What do you think he wants?” Shuhua anxiously asks when they leave her chambers, the gigantic door closing behind them with a loud thud. 

“Who knows, with him.”

The rest of the walk is taken in silence, their only communication Miyeon’s hand reassuringly rubbing her back. Shuhua’s footsteps echoed loudly through the corridors, occasionally interspersed with the shuffling of a maid or clank of the kitchen. They reach the courtroom too soon, in Shuhua’s opinion. Miyeon can’t follow her in, so she trails behind her before finally stopping at a reasonable distance. 

When Shuhua turns around hesitantly, Miyeon is beaming at her.

“Tell me all about it, later,” she says in her lilting voice, and Shuhua takes a deep breath and steels herself. 

When she walks inside the courtroom, slamming the door open, she makes sure her back is straight and her chin pointed up. From a young age, Shuhua has been taught the perfect posture and manner that royalty must uphold. When making appearances such as this one, she must take care to never slip up or show weakness. Especially in front of the other faction.

Speaking of the other faction, she glances at Soojin’s father. The man is wearing a deep scowl, brows furrowed. His eyes cut into Shuhua’s core, and she hurriedly looks away. 

She approaches her father with the proudest gait she can muster, keeping her hands tucked away at her side. She ignores the rest of the room, the eyes boring into her sides. Shuhua bows when she reaches the elevated throne her father is seated upon, ducking her head low. “Father,” she greets, making sure to let a bit of practiced reverence to creep into her tone. 

“Shuhua,” he begins, commanding the room with a single word, ”today is your eighteenth birthday, correct?” 

“Yes, your majesty,” she speaks as clearly as she can, attempting to project to the rest of the court. 

“I have a present that will not only please you, but strengthen our great nation.”

Shuhua keeps her face blank, but inside, her mind whirrs. Surely this can’t mean anything good for her. But she makes sure to let her lips curve up in what is hopefully a pleased expression. “Thank you, Father,” she murmurs, lids lowered carefully.

“Don’t thank me yet. Soojin.” 

Shuhua’s eyes widen, and her mask cracks for a second, her head whipping up to her father. He isn’t looking at her. He’s watching Soojin’s father, reveling in his anger.

The oak doors open, the corridor in focus yet again, but this time, Soojin enters. And there she is, just as beautiful as Shuhua remembers. As she approaches, she raises a hand to move a wisp of hair out of her eyes, her bangs ( _when did she get_ bangs?) falling choppily across her forehead. Soojin reaches Shuhua’s side and bows low, head pointed to the floor.

“My lord,” she says, and her voice is also as Shuhua remembers--timid, but powerful in it’s own right. The king commands all the attention to him, unsheathing the sword, the clang echoing throughout the room. He steps down from his throne lightly, feet making no sound. 

He addresses the whole room. “Today, we gather to honor my daughter’s eighteenth birthday. But we also gather to honor the appointment of a new head knight.”

Shuhua can feel her eyes widen imperceptibly. All these years of separation, of her father keeping Soojin away from her, and now he’s handing her to Shuhua on a silver platter? She puzzles it out in her head, but finds her answer when she glances at Soojin’s father again. His teeth are clenched, hands in fists, and Minwoo’s whole body seems to be shaking with rage. This wasn’t for her, or for the betterment of the kingdom. Soojin becoming the head knight is a power play, Shuhua’s father boasting his victory over the enemy, his way of bragging to Minwoo. 

Soojin steps forward, resting her weight on one knee. The king raises the sword, the dusky light glinting off the sword from the open windows. He taps each of her shoulders with the sword, and Soojin takes a deep, labored breath. Shuhua’s chest hurts--this should be her moment, but instead it’s become another game of chess between her father and Minwoo. This moment should be the culmination of all of Soojin’s hard work, and she can’t even feel properly happy for her.

Her father’s voice booms loudly in the otherwise silent room. 

“Do you swear to serve and protect this household at all costs?”

“I do.”

“Do you swear to protect the crown with your own life?”

“I do.”

“Do you swear to serve this country and this country alone?”

“I do,” Soojin breathes out. 

“Then I anoint you as head knight, servant of the crown and country.”

Soojin lifts her head with her body, standing proudly as cheers and claps wash over her. Shuhua looks on hesitantly, unsure of how to proceed. Her father turns to her, answering her silent question. “As head knight, Soojin will be working closely with you to ensure your safety and happiness.”

She sneaks a glance at Soojin, internally cursing when she catches the knight staring back with a hundred times the intensity. The king interrupts them before they can stare at each other for too long.

“Leave us, Shuhua, we have matters to attend to. Soojin, accompany her to her quarters.”

Shuhua bites at the inside of her cheek, wracked with nerves. Her father dismisses them with a nod of his head, and she turns away, checking from the corner of her eye if Soojin is following. She opens the broad doors with a swipe of her hand, letting the older girl trail behind her. 

The door closes with a bang, and Soojin jogs around to her side. “Shuhua,” she begins, but Shuhua cuts her off.

“I’m tired.”

Soojin looks out one of the windows. “The sun hasn’t even gone down yet.”

“And?”

Soojin sighs loudly, and Shuhua picks up the pace, determinedly taking longer strides. “Don’t you want to talk about it, Shu?” She breathes out in relief when they round the corridor that contains her room. Soojin hurriedly jogs behind her, grabbing one of her wrists and swinging her around.

“That’s no way to treat royalty,” Shuhua groans, rubbing at her wrist, and Soojin’s eyes gleam unrecognizably. She turns to her door, grateful they stopped right before it, slipping inside, but the door is blocked by a boot when she attempts to close it. “Can we please just talk?” Soojin pleads.

Her face is hidden by the door. Shuhua finds the resentment inside her slowly bubbling out behind the cracks, and reigns it in as much as she can. “What do you want to talk about, Soojin? The fact you were here, in the palace, this whole time, and never tried to find me? Never even tried to speak to me?”

Silence. “You know I co-”

Shuhua kicks Soojin’s boot away and close the door, the lock clicking loudly. 

She collapses against the door, sliding down to the floor of her room. Her hands can’t seem to stop trembling, and she wishes she would have let Soojin in, deep down.

Talk about a horrible birthday.

v. 

The next day, she wakes up to Soojin’s face hovering over hers.

She shrieks and jumps back, reaching over to her bedside table and brandishing a book at the knight. Shuhua chucks it at Soojin, who dodges easily, quirking an eyebrow. “Nice throw,” she teases, and Shuhua huffs.

“Why are you here?” 

“Good morning, Shuhua,” Soojin says as she throws open the curtains. Shuhua squeals, throwing her hands over her eyes in protest, squinting at the older girl in displeasure. She attempts to throw the covers back over her body, but Soojin tugs them out of her grasp easily, pulling her off the bed with a smile. “Get up.”

Shuhua slumps on the floor and groans. “Asshole.”

“This asshole is making sure you get things done. C’mon, up,” Soojin grunts, lifting her off the floor. Shuhua reluctantly gets to her feet, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and absentmindedly combing through her hair with her fingers. “My old guard was never this annoying,” she grumbles as she sits at her vanity. Soojin watches her brush out her hair thoroughly with an impassive expression. It doesn’t take her long to finish primping herself because she’s never liked to wear makeup outside of court activities, and she stands raising a brow towards Soojin.

“I have to get dressed,” Shuhua says as she approaches the large closet, thumbing at the silk of her night gown. 

“I’ll turn around,” Soojin announces as she sits on the edge of the bed, facing the window and balcony. Shuhua imperceptibly breathes a sigh of relief, focusing her attention on the piles of cloth before her. She walks inside the closet, running her hands over the expensive material, weighing colors and styles within her mind. Shuhua decides on a simple pink dress with flowy, light material, that sweeps down to her feet gracefully. She slips off her nightgown and it hits the floor audibly. Soojin clears her throat.

When she’s finished, she taps Soojin’s shoulder gently. “Finally,” the knight grumbles, and she frowns. “What are we doing, anyway?”

Soojin hums and places her finger on her chin as if to mimic thinking. “Well,” she says, “I lied.” Shuhua stares blankly for a second, silently urging her to continue. “There’s nothing to be done, today.”

Shuhua’s face twists. “You mean you got me up for nothing?”

“Not for _nothing-_ But she’s already pounding at Soojin with her fists, wailing like a child. “I’m going back to bed, and there is nothing you can do to wake me up.” Shuhua tries to climb into the bed, but Soojin grabs her shoulders, hands grasped between her armpits. “Come on,” Soojin insists in a serious tone, and when Shuhua looks back, her face is set determinedy. She huffs and finally follows the older girl out of her chambers. When they leave the palace gates, entering the village, she increases her pace to match Soojin’s.

“Soojin,” she hissed, “I haven’t been in the city in years.” 

The knight glances over curiously. When she sees Shuhua’s distressed eyes, Soojin stops her. “You’re no different than anyone here. I don’t know what about this makes you so anxious, but it’ll be fine. Just stay close to me.” Shuhua grits her teeth and nods, reluctantly latching onto Soojin’s arm. She has a lot of pent up emotions regarding the knight, but despite it all, Shuhua trusts Soojin above everyone else.

They traverse through the village, the people within occasionally ogling her, eyeing her expensive earrings and priceless jewels adorning her fingers and wrists. It’s nerve wracking. But soon enough, they reach the edge of the city, to the fields and forests beyond. Shuhua glances down at the bag Soojin has on the arm she’s not wrapped around, wondering what’s in it and why they are in the fields. Shuhua turns to Soojin, unraveling her arm from the knight’s bicep. 

Soojin looks right back at her, face completely serious. Shuhua twists her hands behind her back. Maybe she’s about to get murdered-- the setup is perfect. They’re alone, away from the city and the palace that sits upon the hill, Soojin is armed with the sheathed sword at her side. And maybe Shuhua said she trusted the older girl earlier, but the way she’s staring at Shuhua, like she’s going to _eat her alive,_ is unsettling, to say the least. “Please don’t kill me,” slips out of her mouth after a moment of intense eye contact. 

Soojin’s expression turns incredulous. “What the hell?” Shuhua flushes, scrambling to defend her thoughts. “Well, I’m unarmed, we’re alone, this is terrifying please tell me what we are doing,” she rambles, covering her face. Soojin’s giggle causes her to break away from her hands, staring dumbly at her smile. 

“This is an apology,” Soojin murmurs. “I understand how you feel. I wanted to see you too, all this time. But I couldn’t. I knew that one day, we would be able to talk freely together, just like this. So I trained and trained, got lost in it, forgot what my goal was. Then I saw you in these fields that day, and I remembered.”

Shuhua gapes openly. “I-”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I just want to apologize.”

Soojin gestures to her bag. “I thought we could play in the fields, like when we were kids. It’s probably a dumb idea though.” She pulls out a blanket, laying it across the grass. Shuhua sits on it, and feels the grin split her face. Soojin lays down beside her, pulling plates of food out from the bag.

“I think it’s perfect,” Shuhua whispers into the wind.

vi. 

Shuhua grows used to Soojin’s presence. At first it was foreign, strange, to have a shadow following her at almost every part of the day-- now, she searches for Soojin’s eyes, pleased that they always manage to meet hers. Since the day of the picnic, they haven’t left the castle again, but it becomes routine for Soojin to wake Shuhua with a swish of the curtains, flooding the room with light. If Shuhua wants to be poetic, she could say Soojin brings day to her night,or something like that.

A few days after their excursion outside the walls of the palace, Miyeon slips into her room, demanding to be informed about the new head guard and personal bodyguard of Shuhua’s. She bitterly explains their history to Miyeon, but she can’t help but brighten when she speaks of the present, of the way Soojin treats her. Miyeon smirks knowingly but says nothing about the matter, content to watch her gush about Soojin unconsciously. Shuhua cuts herself off with a flush bright on her cheeks.

Things between her and Soojin are at a stalemate, but Shuhua welcomes the slowness of their relationship. There’s no pressure, no rush. She can’t deny that there’s something more, but they have nothing but time, and she’s content to watch the days pass by. In the end, time passes as it always has; she’s occasionally called into court for matters concerning her father, spends time with Miyeon, and becomes friends with Minnie, Soojin’s second in command.

Until the ball is announced. 

A month after Soojin’s appointment, her father issues a decree-- a ball is to be held on the fall equinox, to commemorate the birth of their fairly young country. She dreads it, if Shuhua is being honest. At least her cousin will be there, so they can suffer together, as they often do. 

The kingdom has three days to prepare for the ball, so the palace bustles with activity, decorators and seamstresses flying down the halls hurriedly, nearly knocking her over once. She’s fitted for a dress immediately after the announcement, wincing when she’s shoved into a tight corset. Shuhua rules that dress out.

Soojin appears less often-- if she’s being honest, the only time Shuhua sees her is when the knight wakes her in the morning. She’s okay with it, though (she’s not). Soojin has bags under her eyes and seems to be seeping with exhaustion, so she thinks leaving her alone would be best. Miyeon entertains her those days, and she’s reminded of how much she has missed her friend. The second day, her cousin arrives at the palace, surrounded by carriages filled with royalty and politicians. 

Song Yuqi is the face of her country, for sure. Yuqi’s charms are sought after by many, her bright personality the talk of the villages, her beauty renowned. Shuhua is glad to let Yuqi take the spotlight. 

You’d think with that level of popularity, it would go to a person’s head--but Shuhua’s cousin remains one of the most humble people she’s met. When she hears of her arrival, she leaps to her feet and rushes out the castle, taking the stairs two at a time. When she sees Yuqi, she lets out a loud screech of joy, making bystanders jump in surprise. Yuqi matches her enthusiasm, jumping on her, smothering Shuhua in a hug that takes her breath away. When they break apart, Yuqi noogies her with an exclamation of “Shu!”

She spots Soojin out of the corner of her eye and gestures for her to approach them. The frown on the knight’s face seems so out of place. Shuhua raises a hand towards Yuqi. “Soojin, this is my cousin, Yuqi.” She sees Soojin relax slightly, and internally raises an eyebrow. “Yuqi, this is Soojin, the head knight.” 

Yuqi smiles brightly, and everyone’s stares are directed towards it. She grabs Soojin’s hand and shakes it vigorously. “Nice to meet you Soojin-ssi,” she says. “Likewise,” Soojin replies, and her smile is genuine this time. 

They lead Yuqi into the palace, showing her to her room. Her numerous bags weigh them down, prolonging the trip, but Shuhua enjoys catching up with Yuqi and Soojin. The two get along surprisingly well, even holding conversations without her needing to participate. Shuhua doesn’t know why that’s so satisfying. Maybe because two of her closest people are getting along?

Soojin and Shuhua help Yuqi settle in and unpack, and by the time they’re done, the sun has long set in the sky. Miyeon joined them at one point, and Soojin had some of the guards help them carry the heavier items in. Soyeon and Minnie finally set down the last bag, and they all breathe out a large sigh of relief. Shuhua eyes Yuqi. “Why did you pack so much? You’re not even going to be here for a week.” 

“You never know what can happen,” Yuqi pouts. Miyeon, already familiar with Yuqi, decides to tease her. “But _this_ much?” Yuqi just sighs and collapses onto the bed, followed by the rest of them. They lay there for a while, absentmindedly talking amongst themselves, and Shuhua feels like a puzzle piece just slid into place. 

Some time in the night, she falls asleep, surrounded by friends. 

vii. 

The night of the ball is anticipated by everyone but Shuhua, it seems. She’s never had an interest in the affairs of the court. Her older sister is distant, but she takes the fall for Shuhua without even knowing; she is the next in line, after all. Shuhua doesn’t want the throne, never has. 

That day, she’s bathed and primped, clips and jewels are strewn across her hair after it’s twisted into a perfect curl, and she suffers through the application of makeup. They go all out, ensuring every detail is perfect. Her dress is simpler than she expected from the seamstress, with her tendency to weave extravagant pieces, but she’s grateful. The collar is golden, jewels placed carefully along it, cutting off into pure white fabric, only interrupted by the belt of rare stones around her waist. The dress is knee length, stunning yet simple, and _perfect._

After hours of preparation, she takes her first look in the mirror, and has to poke at her face with a finger to ensure the image she sees is real. Shuhua has gone so long without heavy makeup, seeing her eyelids covered in shadows and bursts of color is unsettling. The bottoms of her lids sparkle appealingly, and her lips are covered by a pink shade of gloss, shamelessly shiny. The rest of her body is decorated with jewelry, one bicep encircled by a cuff, wrists dripping with metal. In all, she can admit she looks _hot._

By the time they’ve finished with her, it’s almost time for the ball to begin. She makes her way to the ballroom, accompanied by the handmaids. When she reaches the entrance, Yuqi and Miyeon are waiting there for her. She doesn’t miss how they are both on the arms of Minnie and Soyeon, and she doesn’t fail to point it out. Yuqi grins at her. “Everyone needs someone to accompany them out to the dance floor, it’s practically a rule. Especially considering we’re royalty, and we’ll begin the dance.” Shuhua blinks stupidly. “Why did no one tell me,” she moans in despair. 

“It’s fine,” Miyeon says. “We got you a partner.” The smirk on her face can mean nothing but trouble for Shuhua, and she narrows her eyes. “Who?” A hand taps her shoulder, and she flinches. 

“Me,” Soojin’s melodic voice filters into her ear, and she hopes she doesn’t feel the small shiver Shuhua gives. “O-oh,” she intones, firmly ignoring the giggles coming from the other girls. _She’ll have her revenge later._ Out of the corner of her eye, she spots a figure in the corner. She whips her head, eyes widening at the sight of Soojin’s father. Why would the king invite _Minwoo?_ Although recently her father and Soojin’s have been far more passive towards each other, she didn’t think the king would go so far as to extend an invite to him. Shuhua meets his piercing gaze head on, drawing Soojin’s attention towards Minwoo as well.

Soojin tugs on her wrist, guiding her to the door along with the rest of their friends. Shuhua attempts to read the older girl’s expression, but it’s kept purposefully blank. “Soojin.”

The knight says nothing. “Soojin,” she murmurs again under her breath, staring at her imploringly. She shakes her head at Shuhua. “It’s fine. I haven’t talked to him since I left.”

“But…”

“It’s okay,” Soojin smiles, a little too forced for Shuhua’s liking, “I’m not gonna let him ruin tonight for any of us, okay?”

Shuhua wants to tell her that’s the last of her worries, but the doors open, and she quickly links elbows with Soojin, schooling her expression into one of cool indifference. They follow Yuqi and Minnie into the ballroom, and Shuhua has to resist the urge to lift a hand above her eyes, the glare of the lights blinding. They separate from each other and line up, royalty and commoners, and place their palms in front of each other, close enough to touch but not yet connected. She spies her sister out of the corner of her eye, palm facing an unfamiliar boy. 

She’s not given time to think about it, because the music begins to filter into the room softly. Shuhua directs her attention to Soojin, and they entwine their hands, circling around each other teasingly. They twist around, and she’s faced with Miyeon’s previous partner, Soyeon. She continues with the knight for a few moments before she meets Minnie, and they share a secretive smile before whirling off. That’s the beauty of this tradition-- at the end, the partners all meet again. Finally, she encounters the boy her sister was dancing with. Shuhua winces when his sharp edges meet her soft ones, his grip on her hand threateningly tight, his lips curved down in a discernible frown. She counts down the moments until she can flit away, back to Soojin’s arms. Shuhua sighs audibly when Soojin’s hand wraps around hers, causing the knight to raise a brow questioningly. She slightly shakes her head to reassure Soojin. 

The song grows in intensity, and the crowd covering the dance floor joins in until it becomes a sea of people twirling, and Shuhua can finally breathe. With the lack of eyes watching her every move, she feels the tension seep out of her body. Soojin pulls her in closer until her head is almost resting on her, and she relaxes completely. 

“What was that about,” Soojin has to nearly scream over the music. Shuhua leans in even closer, until her lips are nearly brushing her ear. “That guy my sister was dancing with gave me a terrible vibe, that’s all.” She jumps back when her spine prickles familiarly, and she meets the eyes of her father, sat at the head of the room upon a throne. Shuhua meets Soojin’s eyes, and the older girl nods understandingly. For the rest of the song, they keep their distance, properly twirling and putting on a show for the room. 

But as the music fades, they leave the room silently, slipping out unnoticed. Except for the pair of eyes on Shuhua that she meets head on, challenging Soojin’s father directly. He breaks first, sliding back into the throng of people discreetly, and Shuhua follows after Soojin to one of the rooms directly above the ballroom. They climb up the stairs at their own pace, the slope of it making Shuhua dizzy. When they reach the room, it’s completely empty. A ghost of the music echoes through the walls, and Shuhua feels like she’s in a dream. 

The room is a smaller ballroom, with one wall made completely of windows, ornately plated with gold. The moonlight washes over Shuhua, and she far prefers it to the artificial lighting from before. Soojin sits in the middle of the room, crossing her legs and gesturing for Shuhua to do the same. They sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, and she takes a deep breath and allows herself to take it all in. 

When she can’t take it anymore, she lifts herself off the floor, offering a hand to Soojin. The knight takes it, pulling herself up, and in the process almost knocks Shuhua over. She laughs once Soojin is up and manages to catch the older girl staring with a smirk. 

Shuhua grabs Soojin’s hands with her own, and the knight stares down at their palms in surprise. “Let’s dance.” Soojin blinks in surprise, but follows her lead hesitantly, a far cry from her confidence in front of the crowd below their feet. Shuhua allows herself to get closer than before, their chests pressed together slightly and breath mingling. It’s less dancing and more swaying, moving their bodies moving in tandem to the rhythm of the soft slow song playing below. Their hands are linked together reassuringly, and Shuhua melts into Soojin. 

And maybe she forgets that they haven’t talked things out yet, and skips a few steps. 

She opens her eyes from where she had closed them, head resting on Soojin, and lifts her chin. Her hands crawl out of Soojin’s grasp, migrating to her cheeks as she kisses the knight softly, eyes closing yet again. Shuhua doesn’t try to move her lips too much, just keeps them pressed against Soojin’s. She snaps out of it after a long moment of Soojin being frozen against her. 

Her eyes flicker open, and Shuhua jumps back abruptly. Soojin’s eyes are still open wide, and she stands still like a block of stone. Shuhua can feel the blush rising in her cheeks. Maybe she had been reading everything wrong after all.

“I’m sorry,” she blurts out, and before Soojin can move or say anything at all, she runs to her chambers, her eyes becoming damp without her permission.

viii.

She’s lying face down on her bed. The pillow is wet. 

Shuhua is guilty, tired, and most of all, embarrassed. She’s been lying there for god knows how long, wallowing in her own shame. She wishes she hadn’t done that. She wishes she could turn back time. 

She had been so sure that maybe Soojin felt the same as Shuhua, that all those shared touches and knowing glances weren’t fragments of her imagination. But she’s always been a dreamer, she supposes-- seeing things that aren’t visible to others. Finally, after her pillow is almost completely drenched, and her tears are dry, Shuhua rises off the bed unsteadily. She makes her way to her balcony, drawing back the curtains and submerging herself in the moonlight again. It’s grounding, the way nature continues, even if it feels like her world has ended. Shuhua rests her hand on the railing, fingers tapping against it lightly. The night is peaceful, calm, muffled. Too quiet. Unsettling. She can’t shake this ominous feeling that’s twisting in her chest, and she figures maybe she should go inside-- the darkness is making her far too paranoid. 

Shuhua sweeps the curtains to the side, and enter her room. And is promptly tugged back against the wall, head roughly slamming against the hard surface. 

She gasps, and her fingers grasp at the arm holding her in a chokehold. Her vision slowly turns back, and she wheezes desperately, kicking desperately at the body holding her. By some stroke of luck, she manages to land a foot in their crotch area, and Shuhua slips free from the arms restraining her. She collapses and attempts to crawl away, fingers rubbing at her already bruising neck. The assassin, she assumes it is at least, is groaning behind her in pain. 

Shuhua manages to stand, using her bed to drag herself off the ground. Now that she’s regaining air, she has half a mid to scream and yell, but as she opens her mouth, the cloaked figure recovers. They throw themselves at her, this time brandishing a small switchblade, and she dodges with a shriek. But the assassin is persistent, instantly whipping around, their positions switched. Now, she has to pass them in order to get to the door-- the worst case scenario. 

Before she can think anything through, they leap at her again, and this time to fast for her to even side step. So Shuhua does the first thing she can think of. She puts her hands out in front of her, desperately trying to stop the knife from reaching any vital parts of her body.

The knife slices through her fingers and palms like they are made of thin paper, and she screams. Shuhua holds her ground, though, tears gathering in her eyes again, and pulls the knife out of the assassin’s grip, only for it to clatter to the ground. Her damaged hands can’t hold much of anything right now. She manages to land a weak punch, but the killer pushes her back forcefully. Finally, the figure backhands her with enough to slam her to the ground, and her head rings with the impact. She sees stars filling her vision overwhelmingly. When they clear, the assassin is brandishing yet another knife. Shuhua’s body slumps over, spent from fighting. 

“He said dead or alive,” the figure murmurs, a beautiful, feminine voice, and she thinks that maybe that voice isn’t the worst thing to have to listen to as she dies. Her vision is fading steadily, her mangled hands making a mess on the floor. She rests against the wall, resigned. “Why are you doing this?” Shuhua manages to croak out. 

There’s no answer, just the steady approach of the woman who intends to kill her. She closes her eyes, wishing for a simple death. One void of pain. Shuhua waits, and soon enough, she thinks she couldn’t open her eyes again if she tried. The shock is finally settling in, numbing her to the rest of the world. She anticipates her death.

It doesn’t come.

There’s a grunt, the sound of something heavy falling to the floor. A cry, loud and anguished, and another thump. Then there’s silence. Peace. Someone is cradling her, saying her name insistently. She peels her eyes open. 

When Shuhua sees Soojin in front of her, she can’t help but smile. “Soojin,” she whispers, voice wrecked. She looks over to the side. The woman is face down. She can’t tell if she’s dead or alive. Shuhua isn’t sure which one she prefers. Her eyes begin to close again, and Soojin pinches at her face. “Shuhua, hold on,” she implores, a hint of terror in her voice. It’s funny. She’s not _that_ injured. But there is a lot of blood, she’ll admit.

Soojin continues to beg her to stay awake, but her pleas fall on deaf ears. Shuhua’s eyes slip closed, and it all fades to black. 

ix. 

When Shuhua wakes up, she’s alone. She recognizes the crisp sheets and pristine walls of the medical ward. 

She sits up in her bed, glancing down at her heavily bandaged hands, fully covered except for the tips of her fingers. Shuhua presses them to her neck. Bandages are wrapped there too, and even some around her head. How dramatic. 

When the nurse walks in, she starts in surprise, like she hadn’t expected her to be awake yet. Shuhua stares blankly. “Ah, you’re awake,” the woman finally says timidly. “Yes,” she replies, unsure of what to do now. “I’ll go get someone,” the nurse mumbles, and she almost feels guilty. She waits for a few moments impatiently, perking up when Miyeon and a doctor walk through the door. Miyeon jumps at her, pulling Shuhua into her arms with a cry. 

“I was so worried,” she yells straight into her ear, and she winces. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she repeats, attempting to calm Miyeon down. In the end, the doctor has to peel the older girl off of her. “I’m fine,” she finally reassures. “Don’t do that again,” Miyeon scolds angrily. “How can I help that?” Shuhua complains, but the doctor intervenes. 

“You’ll be here for a few more days,” he gets straight to the point, “your injuries aren’t too serious, but you have a mild concussion and heavy bruising on your throat. With the right treatment, you can suffer only minimal scarring of your hands.” Shuhua sighs. She supposes it’s better than death.

The first day passes slowly, but she had woken up half way through it anyway. Miyeon stays glued to her side, and has to be dragged away screaming and crying. Her father comes late at night and sits at her bedside, entwining his hand with her mangled ones, eyes heavy. She has nothing to say to him-- never has. Shuhua’s sister watches, propped against the wall, eyes uninterested.

They leave, and she falls asleep.

The second day, she waits and waits. Soojin doesn’t appear, but someone just as welcome comes along. Song Yuqi walks through the door, Minnie and Soyeon in tow, eyes laden with unshed tears. Shuhua immediately reassures her, beckoning them to her bed. Yuqi ends up crawling in beside her while Soyeon and Minnie sit at her bedside. Her cousin can’t stop sniffling, and she snuggles against her, silently promising her she won’t leave again. 

When they leave, she feels empty. Shuhua anticipates Soojin’s arrival, had even gone so far as to ask Soyeon and Minnie where she was. She gets an awkward “she’s busy,” in response, so she tries not to get her hopes up too much. But when night comes with no sight of Soojin, she gives up, turning over with a huff. She falls asleep with the bitter feeling of disappointment clawing at her throat. 

The third day is the longest of all.

Tomorrow, she will finally be discharged from the medical ward, despite her still heavily damaged hands. Shuhua waits patiently for something, _anything,_ to happen, to drag her out of her boredom. She’ll admit, she’s a bit upset with Soojin-- the word that Shuhua is awake should have reacher her by now. And yet, she hasn’t come. Which can only mean she’s purposefully ignoring her. 

She hunkers down for the day, heavy with that knowledge. Is it because of what happened before the attempt on her life? Shuhua can’t help but fret all day, but the only person to come by is Miyeon. The older girl quickly catches onto her somber mood, and leaves her to the peace and quiet of the ward. And the boredom. She falls asleep, eventually, without eating dinner. 

When Shuhua wakes up, the moonlight is shining in through the windows, and someone is stroking her hair softly. 

She turns over to Soojin. “What took you so long?” She attempts to keep the hurt out of her tone, but it seeps through. The knight grimaces, and her mouth opens to speak. But she doesn’t. Shuhua turns back over onto her side, her chest aching as though it’s been stomped on multiple times by Soojin’s heeled boots. A hand grasps her shoulder and turns her back over, unfurling her curled up body. “I’m sorry,” Soojin whispers. Shuhua waits.

“I,” her eyes are wet, “I heard a scream coming from your room. I thought I was too late, and when I saw you there on the floor with b-blood everywhere…” Soojin’s voice breaks, and Shuhua’s heart feels like it does too. “I’m okay,” she murmurs, and when that doesn’t calm the knight down from her panic, she pats the bed and invites her in. “C’mere.” 

Soojin slowly climbs in, and Shuhua hates to see her face damp with tears like this. She pulls the covers over both of their heads, and it’s like their in their own world. They face each other, so close their noses are brushing. 

Soojin’s sniffling has subsided slightly. Shuhua raises her thumbs to her cheeks and wipes at the tear tracks she finds there. “You felt guilty,” she realizes. “I couldn’t see you like this, I’m sorry, it’s my fault,” Soojin softly cries, chest beginning to rise and fall rapidly once more. “It’s not your fault,” Shuhua says, offended. “How is this your fault?”

“If I had _said_ something, then.” Shuhua’s eyes widen. She shakes her head. 

“That’s my fault,” she mutters. “I- I came onto you, and I had no right.” Soojin snaps her head up. “What?” Shuhua averts her eyes shamefully. “I thought we- I assumed you felt the same way as I do,” and she gives a pitiful, watery chuckle, weakly grinning. Soojin’s mouth is open, staring dumbly at her. “You can’t _possibly_ think that.” 

Shuhua bristles. “What else am I supposed to think? It’s obvious you didn’t want it.”

“This isn’t an excuse,” Soojin says, “but I was surprised.” Shuhua quirks an eyebrow and throws her head back, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Soojin grips her wrist tightly. “I’m serious. Yeh Shuhua, I’m in love with you. I have been for a while, and you have to know that. “

She blinks dumbly at her. “But-”

Soojin cuts her off with a kiss. 

The grip on her wrist gets tighter, the kiss deeper, and Shuhua’s head goes a little fuzzy. She gasps when Soojin’s hand squeezes too tightly, and the older girl takes the opportunity to swipe her tongue across Shuhua’s bottom lip. She whines, and Soojin presses deeper. Shuhua struggles to breathe through her nose. Her chest feels tight, wound up, and her skin is burning from Soojin’s contact. 

She throws the covers off the bed, and they both sit up slowly, attempting to keep their mouths pressed together. Shuhua crawls into Soojin’s lap, thighs bracketing her waist. She gains confidence, playfully nipping at Soojin’s lip and drinking in the tiny sounds she gets in return. Her hands crawl under Soojin’s shirt, splaying on her stomach. Shuhua groans at the muscle she finds there. She pulls back to let Soojin peel the shirt off her body, shuffling back on the bed to allow herself to admire the art before her.

Soojin reddens adorably. “Why am I the only one stripping?”

Shuhua gestures to her clingy medical ward issued nightgown. “You first, I’m not taking this thing off unless I have to.” Soojin pouts, jumping on her so she falls backwards. Her head is close to the foot of the mattress, and her wrists are splayed out by her hair. Soojin’s eyes gleam in front of her, and it’s like a switch flicks inside her. She kisses Shuhua again, pressing her lips against the younger’s insistently. Soojin doesn’t let her take control this time, and her hands snake up to Shuhua’s wrists and grip them tight.

She gasps sharply, eyes snapping shut. Soojin disconnects her mouth from her lips, instead focusing on her neck, pressing marks into her skin. Shuhua writhes, tightly shutting her lips to make sure no sounds escape escape. Soojin taps her mouth with a finger, a smile breaking out over her face.

“Let me take care of you,” she murmurs, and Shuhua helplessly nods, taking whatever Soojin will give her. 

Soojin stalls for a few moments, licking and biting down her neck and her collarbone. Shuhua lets out breathy sighs whenever Soojin pulls at her skin with her teeth gently, enough to graze, but not enough to be painful. They’re suspended in the moment; it’s just them and the moonlight, and Shuhua can’t help but admire the scrunch of Soojin’s nose when she lays marks across her skin. Finally, the knight pushes at the bottom of her dress hesitantly, glancing up at Shuhua.

“Is this okay?” 

She nods, but Soojin pushes. “I need you to say it.” 

“I-it’s okay.” She’s nervous, but she trusts Soojin to take care of her. The older girl slowly pushes the gown back, exposing her underwear. However, Soojin ignores the bare skin and trails a hand across Shuhua’s stomach, cupping her breast carefully. “This thing is so annoying,” she huffs, toying with the fabric, before lifting the gown all the way off. Shuhua lifts her arms to resist in the removal, feeling herself flush at the feeling of Soojin’s eyes scanning her. She shivers, the air of the medical ward cooling her skin and raising bumps.

Soojin returns her hand to Shuhua’s chest with a small smile and presses her grin into the younger’s lips, licking into her mouth with an intensity that had been missing before. Shuhua moans, not expecting Soojin’s fervor, and a hand snakes around her back to unclasp her bra. The knight leaves a smattering of wet kisses all along her jawline while her fingers fumble with the clasp, sighing when the bra falls.

“Have you ever taken a bra off before?” Shuhua teases. Soojin grumbles, something along the lines of _shut up,_ and Shuhua remembers her state of nudity when fingers pinch at one of her nipples. She gasps and throws her hands over her mouth, eyes narrowing. “That’s-“ 

Soojin leans in and closes her mouth over one of her tits, her tongue swirls around the stiffening bud, and Shuhua moans out louder this time, hands clasping Soojin’s back tightly. “Fuck,” she groans and pushes the older girl away from her chest. Shuhua pulls her in for a messy kiss, feeling frazzled and out of place. 

Soojin whines when Shuhua runs her tongue over her teeth. When they separate, they’re both gasping for air, and it feels like the temperature of the room has risen several degrees. Soojin is staring at her lips intensely, and when Shuhua raises her hand to her lips, they feel just as swollen as the knight’s look. 

Soojin looks back up at her, eyes lidded. “Sit on my face.”

Immediately, Soojin brings her hands up to her face in embarrassment, and Shuhua squeaks. “I mean-“ The older girl tries to rectify, mortified, and Shuhua can’t help but feel bad. “Okay,” she grins, and Soojin peeks through her fingers. 

“Okay?” 

She nods, and Soojin grabs her hips uncertainly, guiding Shuhua down on top of her. They start by making out, and she makes sure to take off Soojin’s bra as well while she’s distracted. The knight whines, but Shuhua shuts her up by nipping at her ear teasingly. She drags her teeth against the shell of Soojin’s ear, reveling in the full body shiver she gets. 

“Can we get to it,” Soojin groans, and Shuhua smirks. 

“Eager, aren’t we?” 

“Shut up,” comes the knight’s reply, and she lifts herself off of Soojin, unsure of what to do next. “How do I..” 

Soojin lays her head back, propping her neck on the pillow. She gestures for Shuhua to come closer. She shimmies up the older girl’s body awkwardly, until her thighs are almost straddling her neck. Shuhua presses her hands against the wall, the surface taking the brunt of her weight. But she’s still worried, as she climbs forward until her dress is brushing against Soojin’s nose. Shuhua slips off her panties, averting her eyes nervously.

Soojin is looking at her like she’s a full course meal.

“W-what if I crush you?” 

The knight redirects her attention to Shuhua’s face. She giggles. “You won’t, idiot. Even if you do, I’ll die doing what I love.” Shuhua huffs and lowers herself down slightly, knuckles turned white against the wall. Soojin lifts her when it takes her too long, licking a long stripe from her clit to her entrance, and she hisses. Shuhua finally sits down fully, and her eyes shut tightly. Her whole body is tensed, her concern for Soojin not allowing her to relax. 

But soon, she’s grinding down onto Soojin’s face, too far gone to worry anymore. The older girl’s tongue is pushing in and out of her pussy, licking stripes down her folds, and she can’t get enough. Shuhua can’t seem to breathe right, whines and moans escaping her lips with every exhale. She doesn’t even notice when Soojin’s hand sneaks up the back of her thigh, a single finger slipping in easily. The knight focuses her mouth on Shuhua’s clit, kissing and sucking at it, while the single finger continues to push in and out steadily. 

Shuhua is choking now, breaking down, and yet Soojin adds another finger, curling and scissoring them in _just_ the right way to make her cry out. Her moans are getting louder and louder, but she can’t help it, with how good it feels. “Fuck-“ Shuhua cries out when Soojin increases the pace of her fingers, rubbing against her walls so nicely. “Ah, fuck, fuck…” 

Soojin detaches her mouth from Shuhua’s clit. Her mouth is cherry red, covered in spit and wetness. “I wonder what everyone would think if they heard their princess swearing like this, hm?”

Shuhua is too far gone to reply besides a small whimper, pressing her face into the wall. “Can you handle three, Shuhua?” 

“Yes, please-“ she gasps. She pushes her hips back onto Soojin’s face again, groaning when the third finger slips in easily, grinding against her mouth incessantly. Her stomach is tightening, winding up like a coil, and she knows she can’t last much longer. 

Shuhua’s thighs are beginning to clamp together tightly, bracketing Soojin’s head. “Hhh,” she breathes out, “Soojin.” 

“Baby,” Soojin replies after kissing her clit, and she melts. She finally looks behind her and Shuhua sees the knight’s hand beneath her own panties. Shuhua involuntarily moans. Her pussy is so wet it’d be embarrassing if she wasn’t so turned on right now.

Her thighs begin to shake, and she cries out even louder. Soojin’s hands never stop fucking in and out, curling perfectly inside her. The pressure on her clit has Shuhua crying out, warning the knight with broken cry of “Soojin!” The coil in her stomach unwinds, and she shudders for what feels like minutes, collapsing against the wall weakly. Soojin kisses her clit one last time before releasing it and slipping her fingers out, her own moans filling the room now that her mouth is unoccupied. The knight looks so _wrecked,_ her hair unkempt and run through, her lips spit-slick and swollen, eyes lidded. 

Shuhua moves down to straddle Soojin’s stomach, biting at her neck. The older girl’s cries begin to increase in volume, and she can tell she’ll come soon. Shuhua cups one breast in one hand, pinching Soojin’s nipple teasingly, while occupying her mouth with the other one. She lightly runs her teeth over the bud, and Soojin gives one last cry, the echo of a scream, and the tension leaves her body.

The knight pulls her hands out of her panties and licks her lips. She drags Shuhua to her, throwing the covers over them. She thinks about cleaning up, but it feels so nice in Soojin’s arms. 

“Soojin?” She begins. Shuhua looks up, and the older girl’s eyes are shut tight. Somehow, Shuhua falls asleep as well, entangled in Soojin.

They wake up that morning to a handmaid rushing in, panicked and crying. 

Last night, a court official was murdered.

x.

She slips on her robes in a hurry. 

Soojin trails behind her uncertainly when she leaves the ward, clothes also haphazardly thrown across her body. Shuhua increases her pace. They reach the courtroom in no time, but the knight stops her before she can throw open the mahogany doors.”Wait,” Soojin says, and she whips around. “Yes?” She huffs impatiently. 

“Let’s be careful,” the older girl admonishes. “We _have_ been careful,” Shuhua hisses, “a man is dead, Soojin. They need me there.” 

Soojin reluctantly releases her wrist. She pushes open the door, walking into the chaos with a purpose. The officials and handmaids are panicked and anxious. Her father and sister are missing. Shuhua sighs and steps into the pandemonium, reaching the pedestal the throne rests upon after minutes of pushing through the throngs of terrified people. She clears her throat.

No one notices her, so she tries to clear it even louder.

Finally, she yells into the crowd. “Quiet!” Hundreds of puzzled faces turn to face her, but Shuhua holds her ground. “Panic will solve nothing,” her voice rings into the silent room. She meets Soojin’s eyes. “Let’s think logically, everyone.”

At that moment, the king enters through the open doors. He glances at the state of the room impassively. “I can take it from here, Shuhua.” She nods and descends from the throne, secretly thankful for his arrival, breathing out heavily once she reaches the back of the room, sliding beside Soojin. The knight rubs at her back discreetly while the king calms the room down and holds a court session. But they sit there for hours and hours without a result or evidence arising, and the session is forced to a reluctant close. There’s a bitter taste on Shuhua’s tongue as they leave without an answer-- just a dead man, and the eyes of the man her sister brought to the ball on her back when they meet in the hall. 

xi. 

Shuhua has moved back to her chambers now. There’s a stain on her floor that couldn’t be scrubbed, and the surface is a dull red, faint but there. The only difference is now, she can wake up in Soojin’s arms whenever she wants. They tend not to sleep together, for reasons regarding professionalism, but Shuhua can kiss Soojin whenever the urge strikes her and that’s enough.

Despite the recent events, the castle returns to its previous cheerfulness. A week after the murder, the castle as a whole has forgotten what happened. 

The light mood breaks in the second week, when Shuhua wakes up to the news for the second time that month that a court official has been murdered. But this time, they captured the assassin. She meets in the courtroom with the remaining officials and the king, eyeing Soojin’s father warily. He glares right back. 

Soojin is gone, presumably questioning the assassin, one of her duties as head knight. Shuhua waits, hopelessly bored, zoning out of the droning of the officials. An hour later, the door swings open and Soojin enters like Shuhua’s personal angel. But her face is set like stone.

“I know who sent the assassins,” Soojin seethes, rage pouring out of her, “the bastard Seung brought to the ball.” The room turns to face Shuhua’s sister. Her face is pale and uncertain for probably the first time in her life. “That’s…”

She can’t finish her sentence. “That’s not all. He let them in, gave them layouts of the palace, tricks to get around.” The door opens again while Soojin is speaking, and the man is pushed in roughly, legs and wrists bound tightly, head bowed. The king speaks for the first time this session, voice ringing clearly through the murmurs. “Is this true, Jae Hwa?” Shuhua jolts in surprise at the mention of his name, finally able to put a name to the face. 

Jae Hwa doesn’t lift his head, only clenches his fists. “I’ll take your silence as confirmation. You ordered the death of two men, and attempted to take my daughter’s life. I will make sure you rot in the cells of this palace _forever._ ” The man still says nothing, instead grinding his teeth so loudly Shuhua can hear the unpleasant noise. 

The king cocks his head. “Anything to say for yourself?” 

Finally, the man raises his chin proudly, back straightening, all signs of submission vanishing.. “If I had it my way, it would be two dead men and one dead princess.”

Shuhua blanches. She watches Soojin snarl, her eyes flashing in rage, and the king yells before the knight can strike Jae Hwa. “Don’t waste your energy. Take him to a cell.” The girl reluctantly withdraws her hand, and drags the man by the collar out of the room, carelessly throwing him across the floor. 

She returns to her room, and by then the sun is high in the sky. Shuhua can’t believe it’s over; that she and Soojin can relax for once, before they are dragged back into the harsh world of court. 

Shuhua throws open the doors to her balcony and steps outside, allowing the cool breeze to run over her with a sigh. Winter is coming, and with its arrival the nip of freezing air. She shivers, but a body sidles around her, fingers gripping her waist tightly. “Soojin,” Shuhua grins when she feels the grip of the older girl. She expects it to be soft, when Soojin brings her in for a victorious kiss, but she’s pushed against the wall of the balcony with a thud and a gasp. She blinks up at the knight curiously, but she can’t read the emotions racing across her features. 

Shuhua resists the urge to rub at the back of her aching head, instead moaning when Soojin nips at her bottom lip. “He-“ The older girl begins, but cuts herself off, pained.

“He’s not gonna hurt you, he can’t anymore,” Soojin sighs in obvious relief. Shuhua smiles. So that’s what this is about. “I’m okay,” she murmurs, brushing Soojin’s cheek with her thumb tenderly. “He’s gone. You made sure of that, didn’t you?” 

“I did,” she says proudly, and attaches her lips to Shuhua’s neck. It’s no longer rushed or desperate, just the gentle press of kisses onto her skin, a promise. When Soojin is done, Shuhua guides her into her bed, and everything is soft; the feeling of skin on hers, the mattress behind her back, the hair she strokes fondly when they are finished. 

xii. 

Months have passed since Jae Hwa was sentenced to rot in the cellars of the castle, and with them, the promise of spring sprouted forth. 

But no matter how the seasons change, Soojin and Shuhua stay the same. Tangled up in each other, so in love it makes Shuhua’s chest ache. Soojin juggles her duties as her lover and her head guard surprisingly well, and she can’t help but admire Soojin’s stony expression when she works. She loves it even more when it melts with a simple brush of her finger. 

The castle is completely silent when she wakes up.Soojin is absent, but she expects it this time. Her father began a new tradition, as he loves to do, and the rest of the castle is gone save for her, a handful of guards, some handmaids, and her sister. Soojin was required to go with her father as head knight, so Shuhua entertains herself in the castle, dancing through the nearly empty halls, hopelessly bored without Miyeon’s presence.

She spends the day exploring every room in the castle, enjoying the quiet that permeates throughout the palace, so rare yet so precious. The hours pass slowly though, the silence becoming too quiet, and she occasionally counts on her fingers how many hours it will take for her to see Miyeon and Soojin again. She flips through books in the library, lounges on the couches spread throughout the castle, and gazed out the windows longingly. She observes the way the sky changes colors and the green is returning to the earth; notes how she could take Soojin on a picnic when the flowers are in full bloom. 

She’s bored out of her mind. 

The hunting party won’t be back until later that night, so she decides to take a nap and wait for their return instead of wasting away. Shuhua makes her way to her chambers as the sun begins to disappear from the sky and closes the blinds, snuggling under the covers of her bed with a pleased huff. She trusts that Soojin will climb in later, so she keeps the door unlocked and slightly cracked. A single sliver of light is thrown over her body.

Shuhua dreams are scattered, and she can only remember one. She’s choking, fingers are pressing against her windpipe too tight, and she’s gasping. It’s dark, cold, and wet; there’s water running down her, dripping onto her head, but she takes a closer look and it’s crimson. She runs out of air before long, choking on the blood and pressure around her neck, and turns to dust against the stone below her feet, fading with the wind.

When she wakes, hands are wrapped around her throat and squeezing.

Shuhua immediately gasps and kicks, fingers curling up to pry the hands away from her bruising neck. She wheezes and chokes, finally managing to elbow the attacker before scrambling. Now, the scene is far too familiar to her. But this time there is no Soojin to save her. 

So she doesn’t run, instead meeting the assassin head on determinedly. Shuhua sidesteps the jab aimed precisely at her side, sliding around to get the perfect angle. She brings her elbow down on the figure’s head, and they crumple to the floor in a heap like flimsy fabric. Shuhua immediately runs to her door and throws it open, yelling out for help with a scratchy voice. It’d be a miracle if anyone could hear her with the volume of the croaks she’s letting out. 

The windows are dark, and she collapses to the floor. Her body is frozen yet again, and she can’t help but hate it. Shuhua sits there, occasionally calling out for help with her broken voice, slumped over and tired. She knows she should move, but her feet refuse to work with her. 

That’s how they find her, shivering against the wall, eyes shut tight in disbelief.

xiii. 

She spends the night in Soojin’s room. Shuhua doesn’t want anything to do with her chambers for now, as it seems the bad memories in that room only increase as time passes. She sleeps late, and she can tell Soojin wants to join the others and question the assassin, but she stays back with Shuhua to comfort her and cuddle. She even lets her be the little spoon. 

They wait for what feels like forever, but Soojin is far more eager than her. Shuhua feels detached from the situation, despite it being her own life that was at risk. Most of all, she feels numb. 

Around midday, Miyeon enters their room, followed by Soyeon and Minnie. They wear grim faces, expressions set like stone. Shuhua already feels nervous, and she swallows around the lump in her throat. Minnie takes a seat on the bed.

“First of all,” she says, “Jae Hwa wasn’t the mastermind behind any of this after all. He was working for the other faction, who wanted to undermine the royal family.”

Shuhua nods. It’s believable, but as she considers it, she blanches at the implications. She turns to Soojin nervously, desperately wishing for the situation to not unfold as she believes it will. “Soojin, don’t freak out,” Soyeon warns from behind Minnie, and Shuhua’s chest burns with the realization. “No,” Soojin whispers from beside her, nearly inaudible. “He’s a shit father, but he wouldn’t _kill_ someone.”

Minnie’s brows draw up into a pained expression. “I’m sorry. He tried to kill Shuhua again last night, without the help of an assassin. We questioned him, and we learned Jae Hwa was a willing scapegoat, and he has a serious grudge against Shuhua.” She looks at Soojin, and she can’t stand the way her eyes are glassy and full of pain. “That’s impossible,” she whispers, and Shuhua curls around her. “It makes sense,” she murmurs, “I took you away from him. This was revenge and a power play at the same time; killing two birds with one stone.”

Soojin buries her face in her arm, and the others leave them.

“Soojin,” she whispers, and lets her cry into the crook of Shuhua’s neck. When her eyes dry, Shuhua’s neck is soaked. “I hate him,” Soojin admits. “He was a terrible father and a horrible man. But it still hurts.”

“I know,” she agrees, “I know.”

xiv. 

That night, they sneak out of the castle, arms laden with bags. Shuhua breathes in the crisp air, the night seeming to bring a different quality to the wind. They creep through the city, but no one is awake. It’s like a ghost town, like it’s just them, alone, in their own universe where no one exists. They leave the palace and the village behind them and enter the field; the landscape devoid of light except for the bright glaring of the moon overhead. 

Shuhua mourns the fact that there are no flowers for her to weave into Shuhua’s hair yet. She supposes they’ll have to return soon, so she can make her knight a flower crown deserving of her beauty. 

Soojin picks their spot wordlessly, and Shuhua lays the blanket across the crest of a small hill. The city is still visible behind them, glittering like a prized gem. They pull out snacks and nibble on them, letting the silence wash over the hill. She pulls Soojin close to her, and they lie back together. Soojin is silent as Shuhua points out the constellations hidden in the sky, but she laughs at her terrible jokes despite it all, so she knows it’s only a matter of time before Soojin returns to her. She’s content with this. Shuhua plants sloppy kisses all over the knight’s cheeks until she’s sure no inch has been missed, saving the mole underneath her eye for last. Soojin giggles at her antics, and Shuhua sighs.

She lies back again, body entwined with Soojin’s, and the moonlight illuminates the smile twisting the knight’s lips. 

Shuhua is content.

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first f/f fic ever so the smut stressed me out so much,, but when I finally wrote it I had so much fun. thank you for reading to the end,, and leave a comment if you enjoyed (if you want to ofc)
> 
> follow me on twitter @yeosangflvr!


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